Waiting on the Lord.

Waiting is such a hard thing to do. We have been waiting on the Lord for what seems like forever for direction in His will for us. It has been over a year of pleading, yearning, bargaining, begging, seeking and frustration. I am so impatient when I want answers I want them now. This is an area the Lord has taught me that not everything happens when I want. How I want it.  I don't like feeling like I don't know what is going to happen. What a journey this has been. When we first moved to Canada, we were sure the Lord brought us here. What an adventure this was going to be. Shortly after we got here and the snow was never ending, the job my husband was doing was a horrible place for him to be, Kaleb was sick for 2 weeks, I have never felt so lonely in all my life. I had put so much happiness in other people, expecting them to make me happy and they did! When we came here, there was no one to "make" me happy. How could this be what the Lord wanted? Loneliness? Sickness? Frustration? This could not have been the Lords will. This is the first thing the Lord showed me. First to find my joy in Him and second to find my joy in my husband and third to find my joy in my children and my home. This move here was certainly an adventure but not the kind I thought it would be, but much better. What a spiritual journey this has been. So much I have learned and am still learning and will continue to learn when we leave. The Lord has worked all of this bad for HIS good. We are about to come to an end on this journey in Canada and one of the very things we have been seeking the Lord to direct us in and what peace I have. What joy I have. I know the Lord isn't leaving me out to dry, He isn't forgetting about me or laughing at my pleas. The Lord cares for me and my life and my pleas. He cares for my sanity, my happiness and my character. He cares for my JOY! I thank God for not giving me what I want when I want it for if He had James and I would not have become so close on this journey, would not have been so eager to seek the Lord's will for us and our family. We would not have been open to what the Lord had in mind for us. We would not have listened to where the Lord was directing us, being the very place we said we would NEVER move to. We would not be reaping the blessings we have been and are sowing. We would not have joy in our hearts. We would not love with a love that comes from somewhere so deep and pure. I thank God for His timing, even though it is not my timing. For His timing is perfect and just. I am choosing to love, to serve, to worship, to seek and to enjoy life while I am waiting.

These lyrics touch a place in my Spirit that is so full of understanding. I understand this song. This song describes my life right now and I thank God He is so patient with me while I wait and remind myself that God's timing is best.


While I am waiting by: John Waller

I'm waiting

I'm waiting on You, Lord
And I am hopeful
I'm waiting on You, Lord
Though it is painful
But patiently, I will wait

I will move ahead, bold and confident
Taking every step in obedience
While I'm waiting
I will serve You
While I'm waiting
I will worship
While I'm waiting
I will not faint
I'll be running the race
Even while I wait

I'm waiting
I'm waiting on You, Lord
And I am peaceful
I'm waiting on You, Lord
Though it's not easy
But faithfully, I will wait
Yes, I will wait
I will serve You while I'm waiting
I will worship while I'm waiting
I will serve You while I'm waiting
I will worship while I'm waiting
I will serve you while I'm waiting
I will worship while I'm waiting on You, Lord